Yesterday I nearly changed my mind about allowing Gecko Jnr to have his GTA game. The night before, he playfully 'play pretend' to stab me with his plastic knife!!!! And of course during the course of the day, on 2 occassions, he said 2 swear words- F*** and Ass****! Needless to say I couldn't sleep the night, worrying and wondering and confused, thinking if I really know what I am doing as a positive, mindful, TCS unschooling mum! Anyhow, I've keep poor tired hubby up till 2pm, talking incessantly, comparing the pros and cons, manically surfing the web for more research articles on violent video games and it's effect on children. Needless to say, i still can't get my answers as the balance is still equal with 2 prominent school of thoughts -
Some think it's bad influence:-
http://www.kidsource.com/kidsource/content2/video.games.html
http://culturalpolicy.uchicago.edu/conf2001/papers/walsh.html
Some said there's no concrete evidence linking violence to violent games exposure:- http://www.smh.com.au/news/National/Most-kids-unaffected-by-violent-games/2007/04/01/1175366055463.html.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/4594376.stm
And some articles suggest evidences pointing out that since the introduction of violent video games, the level of violent crimes has drop:-
http://www.avinashv.net/2007/06/23/violence-in-video-games/
Anyhow, eventually hubby managed to convinced me to go to bed, by supplying me with an excellent solution- approach it like a science experiment. A controlled environment whereby son's only to play for a hour a day, and only when chaperone either by mummy or daddy, he can do and say whatever he wants during the game, which is within the tv room. Whatever he wants to do or say, it can be acted out within the tv room, but never, ever outside that room. There will be certain swear words that he's not allowed to say, and of course because we parents are there next to him, this means we can point out the meaning of this bad words, and it's negative social context.
This game comes with a NO Tolerance condition, that is, if he's caught imitating or copying any action or sentences from the game, OUTSIDE the tv room, it'll be a Time Out for the game, which will be banished to the top of the cupboard. He's allowed 20 time outs, of which each will last for 1 week. But the 20th one will be for a year!
I went to bed happy with this solution, but of course when morning comes, I chicken out. Gecko Jnr was up bright and early and bouncing because today was the day he gets to spend his "hard saved" pocket money to buy his "long awaited" ultimate game -Grand Theft Auto! And he's very specific about which one he desire - the Sand Andrea one! He was talking about it non stop and I had to try to break it to him gently that I've changed my mind about allowing this game. At first, he was still bouncing away on his bed, not realising what I was saying. And then, his face turned stunned and he re-iterated what I was saying, in dis-belief. Big tears started to roll! His cries was so devastating that even I started crying, seeing how heart-broken he was. I was totally not expecting this. I was expecting tantrum and some tears, but most definetely not big heart-wrenching sobs, the kind you expect when a pet dies or when a love affair ends.
Anyhow, eventually he calmed down enough to ask for my explaining why i changed my mind. I explained about my worries about him imitating the game, about how we have to constantly remind him to stop copying the game and how we believe this parenting action is not good because it's only natural for a 7 years old to be imitating what they see, because that's how they learn. So i explained how our actions as wise adults, constantly and automatically reprimanding him to stop copying the game, can make him feel like he's a bad boy, which is not something I want, because we know he's not bad but a good and kind and gentle boy. And I explain our concerns about his ability in defferentiating between fantasy and reality.
Now, I have to admit that Gecko Jnr can be quite mature for his age, and is capable of understanding alot of things most of the times. He said he truly understood what we're saying, but then that we're not being fair because it's what we're thinking, and not what he's thinking (his way of saying our decision was biased), and he's offered some opinion on his thoughts and his needs for GTA. So he's managed to convinced me that I should maybe, at least, give him a chance to prove himself.
And we did. Eventually my decision is based on our knowledge of our son's intrisic learning spirit, of how he'll drown himself in his current obsession and eventually detox it out of his system. And also i believe in that Forbidden Fruit teory, of how if we ban this game, we are actually elevating it to that Forbidden Fruit Status. This decision is also made based on the fact i know my son's fascination with this game is primarily due to the various cars he can drive around freely, without any hindrance. The violent bit is really secondary, as he informed me that "it's just a waste of time because you don't get alot of money for that. You'll have to crash cars or do stunts to get alot of money". This is in-line with his current understanding of the power of money, that you can buy lots of things if you have money.
So again, my decision is based on my confidence that my son sees this game as purely just another shooting, crashing, money collecting game, no more violent than his Star Wars Lego or Simpsons game. The only difference is that in GTA, the places and characters is more realistic and graphic, and that the game is so much more complex, with more roads and place to explore. A setting to learn bad social behaviour? Well, for me, most definetely a setting to teach my kid everything that's bad, wrong and evil!
So we ventured out to town to buy his GTA game.
