Unschooling an aspie kid.

It's coming to 3 years of unschooling Junior and...we've been thru alot. When it comes to asperger, I can see that as much as Junior is very capable of mature reasoning and self directed learning...he is also very prone to childish logic.


To how i observed...Junior is a 9 years old with an emotional capacity of a 5 years old. He is still snuggling my chest for comfort...to a point sometimes grabbing my breast in public! On a bad day, he is so nervous that he can't go wee or anywhere...without me standing by his side. So, on a "down day" Jnr is a fulltime job...from helping him finish his meal to accompanying him everywhere in the house because he is too nervous to be alone....to helping him calm down enough to switch off at bedtime by scrathing AND reading to him so he can fall asleep. It is days like these that no one seems to understand how limiting an asperger child's world is....how tiring it is caring for an asperger child....simply because other people don't live thru it...hence just cannot comprehend the possibility of a 24/7 cling-on 9 years old.


Junior is capable of GCSE's level work. I use the word "capable" is because... we are aware Junior is capable of understanding GCSE's level of work tho we don't do any of them. It is the occasional "Eureka HEing" moments that he comes up to me and discussed certain things. It is his Eureka moment....when certain concept clicked with his brain.

He's been reading lots of wikipedia...it is his new favourite "thing" to do. So far, to my knowledge... he's been reading about cars history and locations, history of fast food (KFC in particular) and coffins.


We've been doing lots. We've been learning Malay language and Junior is picking up conversational Malay rather well. We're learning about the nature of tropical climates, comparing the 4 seasons in UK, to the year long summer weather in Asia.


He's also playing on both Toontown and Runescape simultaneously.


Junior is showing us that he is learning lots despite us parents not telling him what to do. He has shown plenty of signs of maturity and responsibility...like helping his little cousin with her games by reading games instructions for her, helping her do her maths homework LOL and many more!! He brought up and we discussed about "working for a living" and what job would he like to do when he grows up. So it does seems like my kid IS growing up fine and dandy...just by living his life the way he deemed fit.

Well, I summarised our unschooling journey so far to be happy, satisfying and still "the best decision ever" we've ever made as parents.

Making autism ‘normal’ won’t help my son...

Making autism ‘normal’ won’t help my son. It may reduce the stigma but it trivialises the learning difficulties and isolation sufferers endureMichael Fitzpatrick


In the 15 years since autism was diagnosed in our son James, the public status of the condition has changed dramatically. In the early 1990s autism was still regarded as a rare and obscure disorder, associated with “mental handicap” or “retardation” and life-long institutional care. Today autism seems to be everywhere. It has become a common, even fashionable condition, linked to talent and creativity or simply making people interestingly different. But the fact that everybody now talks about autism does not make life any easier for people affected by it.

The higher profile of autism cannot be attributed to scientific advances. Though there have been impressive developments in our understanding of the genetics and psychological features of autism, neuroscience has yet to make much headway in elucidating the mediating links — or in suggesting therapeutic interventions. The increased awareness and wider diagnosis of autism appear to be largely the result of a cultural trend towards redefining human differences in terms of disorder. The question we now face, as James embarks on the transition to adult life, is: have things really improved for people with autism?

There can be no doubt that in many ways we have made progress. Parents are no longer blamed for making their children autistic through their frigid personalities, as they were as result of influential psychodynamic theories in the postwar decades. Behavioural and educational programmes have been developed for children at home and at school, though access to these remains uneven. And though there is much talk of provision for adults, including help with housing and employment, the reality remains one of a constant struggle for services.

On the other hand, the apparent upsurge in the prevalence of autism has provoked the notion of an autism “epidemic”, fostering fears and anxieties that provide a fertile terrain for irrational theories. These include the idea that autism is the result of demonic possession (as popularised in the book and film Horse Boy) or, in a modernised version of the same atavistic prejudice, that it is caused by vaccines or some unknown environmental toxin. The depiction of people with autism as “dead souls” or “metabolic train wrecks” — both familiar themes of the “unorthodox biomedical” movement — is disparaging and dehumanising. Rogue scientists and unorthodox practitioners, together with credulous journalists and celebrity parents, have all helped to promote these theories and the associated therapies, which they claim can produce miracle cures and “recovery” from autism. Desperate parents have become customers in a multimillion-dollar global enterprise.

The cultural fascination with autism is reflected in the plethora of films, novels and soaps featuring autistic characters. Yet, with some notable exceptions, such as Mark Haddon’s The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time or the Australian film The Black Balloon, popular depictions of autism tend to be voyeuristic or sentimental. Autism seems to offer endless scope as a metaphor for the discussion of contemporary anxieties about masculinity, fatherhood, the family. Reflecting on the “outlandish, offensive” misrepresentations of autism in film, writer Stuart Murray (also the parent of an autistic child) concludes that “overall, it is debatable how much progress has been made in cinematic depictions of autism since the foundational success of Rain Man”.

The concept of the autistic spectrum, including people with Asperger’s syndrome and “high-functioning” autism as well as those with “classic” autism, who usually have severe learning difficulties and more profound social and behavioural problems, has helped to reduce the marginalisation of people with autism. But the tendency to label as autistic every computer geek and eccentric scientist, and every obsessive train-spotter and stamp-collector (compounded by the vogue for identifying historical figures and even contemporary celebrities as autistic) carries the danger that the spectrum becomes stretched so wide that autism loses its distinctiveness.

“Normalising” autism may reduce stigma, but at the risk of trivialising the problems of those with more severe learning difficulties and also of underestimating the extreme aloneness that results from the social impairment of autism, even in higher-functioning individuals.

When James was found to be autistic, as a GP I knew virtually nothing about it. Recently a woman at the supermarket checkout, noticing his odd behaviour, asked if he had Tourette’s syndrome (familiar from Shameless and Big Brother). Yet, though everybody now knows the labels, the prospect of continuing high unemployment and public spending cuts mean an uncertain future for people with autism. The National Autistic Society has sponsored a campaign to increase awareness of adults with autism — but it remains unclear whether resources will be provided to meet the needs that are identified. The “autism angle” may provide publicity for the new Sherlock Holmes film or for the sequel to The Phantom of the Opera, but for families like ours the struggle is set to continue.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/guest_contributors/article6870232.ece

Michael Fitzpatrick is a London GP. He is speaking at the Battle of Ideas satellite debate, Age of Autism: Rethinking “Normal”, at Foyles Charing Cross Road, London

We're into fast cars.

The month of June had been really full on with eating, sleeping and dreaming about cars, cars and more cars.


I was explaining about the benefits of asperger to my mum. I have finally managed to convinced my family that my mum, my brother, my sis and me....we're all on the autistic spectrum. One of the positiveness I pointed out is our narrow obsessions with things. Like me now, my obsession is finding out all info on adult aspgerger.

My son's obsession is finding out all about fast cars. Three weeks ago, he was just only beginning, exploring, gathering info via the library books, the internet and watching Top Gear every morning. This week (week 4), he is a walking encyclopedia on cars. Ask him anything about cars, and he will rattle on and on and on.

He is constantly pointing out the different cars to me as we're driving along. And I have managed to help him tune into his "lessons".

I was given a copy of the ACE curriculum's timetable, with rows for days and subjects for columms (Maths, English, Word Building, Literature and Creative writing, Science, Scial Studies and Bible). I just love the simple and colourful layout. I got hubby to colour copy enough to last for a whole year.

I have taken to printing on the back of the schedule, outlining our lesson philosophy/ framework for the week. I then fill in the individual boxes, translating Jnr's "work"/ discussions/ readings in educationese language.

So for instance, on Monday, I'll penned in:-

* Maths (charts; timing his races, and working out the time differences on each race);
* English (lots of discussions on driving techniques)
* Word building (using lots of new technical words to describe the driving and the condition of the route)
* Literature and Creative writing (tho we didn't do any writing but we are reading alot of books on cars plus working our way thru the DS 1000 Classic Stories every night)
* Science (we're reading and discovering the science of aerodynamics and physics; we're discoering scientific words like momentum, friction, downforce, gravity and many more)
* Social Studies (geography and history of car invention, manufacturing and racing history)

Anything new covered, will be scribble down too on the back by the end of the day. This way, I find, I won't forget...and I will always have a record of his "lessons" should I need it.

Unschooling Food, Money and Personal Hygiene.

This is cross my mind this morning and I had to share it. Hopefully it'll bring
some comfort and possibility to some on this list.


FOOD.
-----

Well, the philosophy still stands. If we buy it, then I have to be prepared to
let him eat it all, at any rate he wants. Tho I don't stop him from eating it
all at one go, I do suggest to Greg perhaps after 2 bags of crisps, allow space
for dinner and finish off the 3rd bag or 4th bag afterwards. Or keep it for his
midnight snack. This normally works, the idea of having something to munch on at
11pm before bed, seems to entice him enough to stop at bag no 2.

So, the past 2 weeks, Greg's been buying and eating crisps for breakfast (before
his regular breakkie), lunch (before his regualar lunch), have his regualr
dinner and crisps for midnight snack.


Chewing gumn is another fix he is hooked on. And those aspartame do kick off his
hyper activeness. We're very sure of this becoz we know Haribo gummies don't,
chewy sweeties like Fruitella don't, sugar lumps don't but give him a sugar free
gum, you'll see his senses heightened and give him another, Greg is be
absolutely buzzing like a busy, busy bee!! LOL!!

But again, if he buys a box of chewing gum, I am fully prepared to let him
finish it at his pace. As always, I will suggest that if he has too much, he'll
be "aspie drunk". It is Greg's choice to whether lose himself into such state or
remain "sober" of which he's now discovered a choice of jaw compression
actitivities he can indulge in - Haribo Starmix or Knex sticks (the rubberised
bendy Knew stickes from his beginner Knex set) Greg has tld me that it calms him
down when chewing on these 2 things. But he has yet to share what do his aspie
drunk do for him.


Aspie drunk is what me and Greg refer to that feeling of "losing control his
brain (I recognisegd it as impulsiveness)and feeling like wanting to do lots of
things (I recognised it as erratic behaviour)"

In short, HYPER ACTIVENESS.

I do explain Greg my perspective of him during his aspie drunkness, and he
explains his internal emotional perspective to me. We reckon it is no different
to how a person will behave when drunk. Losing control and senses of one's
judgement and balance...hence the word "aspie drunk" becoz we refer to these
behaviours as part of his aspieness.

So yesterday, he's decided not to touch his box of chewing gums, but instead
chewed on a new Knex stick.



Personal Hygiene
----------------

Greg hates showers and brushing his teeth, just as much as any other aspie kid.
But he doesn it, with much moans and groans and complains. I cannot say we're
unschooling in this department but showering and brushing teeth is definetely a
non negotiable issue. But what I do is I am constantly explaining to him why we
need to do it.

We talked about how important his new teeth is for it's meant to last him a
lifetime. We talked about how important fresh breath becoz it doesn't turn
people off when we talk to them. Bad breath can gives people a wrong impression
that we're dirty, which we're not (and he very quickly points out that he
showers everyday! LOL!) And I do re-inforce the idea of "bad breath turning
people off" by deliberately not brushing at night, and eat something stinky
before bed like cheese, and talk to him closely first thing in the morning
before brushing my teeth. Most definetely do the trick about turning Greg off
LOL!!

To support his sensory needs, we do try lots of different tooth brushes, for the
fun of it. He's settled for an electric one which he alternates with a regular
one. We alos experiment with lots of different tooth paste and chance upon an
organic one which is a smooth trasnparent gel instead of the white gritty paste.
For me, this gel like consistency takes some geting use to , it's like baby
tooth paste but a minty version. In the end, we edned up with 2 toothpaste, the
white gritty one for us, and gel tothpaste for Greg.


He stills moans everyday, asking why should he shower when he showered the night
before. I still tells him, it is his choice, either shower, then he can snuggle
next to me in OUR bed, or don't shower and he can sleep and deposit all his
"germs and gritty sand particles" that he collected during his daytime charging
arond playing.....ON HIS OWN BED, next door in his OWN room. NOT IN MY BED.

And very often, once he is in the shower, he forgets about his moans and very
happily plugs in the bath plug and wil be playing away for the next half hour. I
do buy lots of bath toys. We have multi coloured bath bombs. We have a huge
basket full of toys, syphoning tools, measuring cups, toys syringes. I am
looking for some bath coloured tablet in the shops...I saw some crayola ones,
once a upon a time but can't find it now. I do hate shopping online but looks
like I have no choice.


MONEY
-----

To how i understand from an teenage aspie support forum, it seems like aspie
kids commonly has no sense of budgetting. They either blow the whole lump sum in
one go and moan for the rest of the month till the next payday, or some of them
have no cpmprehension of money and never spends any at all (tho this is a
minority)


My kid is the spend everything and moan forever type LOL!!


He will blow his whole £20 (plus any loose change that his dad gave him every
evening) on one thing...and then realised he's now broke. And then start wishing
he hadn't blown the whole lump sum on "this toy" (which he now decides is sucha
waste of money!)

And then he'll spend the rest of his afternoon, picking at the new toy's fault,
justifying how it is not worth the amount of money he's paid for it. And then
the next few days will see him adding salt to his own wound by goin on the
internet, checking out all those other toys that he could have bought, or how he
could have 5 different toys instead of just spending it on ONE. Then he
degenerates into a lump of self pity and keep saying what a stupid decision it
was to buy "THAT so not worth it's price TOY", eventually, starts calling
himself stupid for not thinking properly.

Then he'll start asking, what can he do to get extra pocket money. I points out
that his egg runs gives him generally £3 of profit. He thinks it is not enough.
Then he suggest car wash, which I agree to, but he''ll want to do it now (many
times, this is at some silly timing like bedtime or when we're on the way to
somewhere. Any suggestion to do it tommorrow morning is declined)

Then he'll start declining if I offer to pay him small money if he helps with
the laundry, or helped pick up his toys, for really, we don't have many things
that he can do, just so to earn extra money.
And he wants BIG money, not small money that he'll have to save up to form a
decent amount.

And this circumstances repeats itself every month.

Two days ago, we're in the mall. As always, Greg is moaning about how broke he
is, how he is unable to buy anything despite me offering to give him £2 to
spend. I am beginning to think how spoilt my child is!!! And I really can't face
this dilemma anymore.


So, I've decided. Instead of me paying for his food and drink and all. He's to
pay for it himself. I'm giving him £10 everytime we're out and about. He's to
pay for his half of his share. He's to pay for his meal, half the parking fees
and petrol which works out to be roughly about £5 average. I worked it out, that
the balance £5 should eseesntially buy him either a decent toy, maybe with
balance left over, which can be save for next trip or he might decided to blow
it all on a 2nd toy. Or if we're near a games arcade, he should be able to play
a game or 2.

All in all, theoratically, Greg should be able to feel fulfilled, and happy, and
in control over his own budget. And still not feel sad and despair over his
decisions, becuase there will be another £10 coming his way when we next go out
again. Hopefully, this will teach him a better sense of budget.

With Greg sense of "big money", he might surprise me by not spending his 2nd
half of the £5, but to use it just for the sake of buying something, but to save
it for a more desired toy in the future.


So, how's everyone getting on with thier aspie journey?


BWS
SharonBugs.

Rubber Gym Ball and Earphones

Finding out about Jnr's sensory issues was such a blessing. For the first time in our lives, we could see Jnr seizing back control over his impulsiveness. He no longers complains about having no control over his brain. Doing things he knows not to, but yet cannot stop himself. Or crying in anguish about having an evil brain inside him, egging him on.


The past 2 weeks have been nonstop busy busy busy. It is almost like Jnr's suddenly got switched on inside. Supporting him with all my knowledge and understanding of therapies, I see my son growing and expanding his world, rapidly. He can focus now. He wants to do things that he never used to want to do. He wants to socialised, he is keen to do everything. I don't know which part of this is naturally unschooling, or is it because his therapies has calmed him down so much, that he can actually asked for something to do, plan for it, and follow it thru.


Today, I am SO PROUD! We were at the shoe shop and the shop manager asked Jnr why he was not at school. Jnr replied loud, calm and confidently ... "I don't go to school. We're homeschoolers. I do my lessons at home" For the first time, my son was able to answer someone's query, clearly and confidently, without me having to help with words.


Who would have thought, rolling a big rubber gym ball over Jnr, and slipping a pair of earphones over his ears, can make such a huge difference to our lives. And he is very excited and looking forward to practising his writing, when his pencil grip arrives. Everyday, he goes riding on his little canary yellow bicycle, giving him the much need joint compression exercises.


In saying that everything is going swell, Jnr is beginning to show signs of set backs. Maybe, tiredness is finally setting in; or maybe as Jnr always predictably do, for every step forward, he takes 2 step backwards, before pushing forth again.


I have always view my son's regressions as a good sign indicating posititve development going to happen, or sometimes, already happened.


We have always embraced Jnr's diagnosis positively. I think we welcomed it, becoz finally, we have confirmed idea of what we're dealing with. It has made life so much more easier and predictable to a certain degree. We have used it to guide us positively thru all his challenges.


Which is why it gives me a rather rude shock when faced with another mum, who refuses to acknowledge thier child have obvious challenges. Why?


BWS
SharonBugs.

June 2009 - another milestone in our lives and.....

What have we been doing recently? Well, nothing much other than Jnr is really keen on company and desperate for friends. He has been constantly complaining that he is lonely....baggering me for a sibling.....a dog....even suggest that we adopt one of those poor kids in Africa LOL!! I think he must have been reading my Grazia mags about Angelina and Madonna LOL!!

So we have been busy, diligently attending each and every homeschooling gathering...and Jnr have truly been enjoying himself playing with other children.


But the recently milestone achieved in our lives has nothing to do with lessons.

We are becoming more aware of Jnr's challenges as he grows another year older. We've finally found the last puzzle to his erratic hyper active behaviour. It is not the diet, it's not gluten, it is not about lack of structure, it is not sugar tho aspartame is still very much an enemy. It's now confirm - it's his sensory intergration.

Jnr suffers from multisensory intergration dysfunction (SID or just SI as it's commonly known).

This explains his constant tripping over his own 2 feet, him constantly flinging himself and rolling on the floor; banging and jumping on the bed and sofa; his headaches and his many erratic moods. Now we truly understood why his hyper activeness switches on and off like a light switch. It is his sensory re-action to his environments.


The occupational therapist have managed to resolved Jnr's issue with writing IN ONE SESSION!!! It's a tri-angular special rubber grip that is slipped onto the pencil. Jnr amazed me and his dad with the most perfect, straight, even-sized and shaped alphabets as he copied off what therapist wanted him to.

While he thorougly enjoyed and and thrived on the challenge and breeze thru his speech assessment 2 months ago, this time round was a totally different story.

He really struggle thru his occupational assessment, doing simple task like drawing and writing and walking and jumping; stopping halfway refusing to continue. Jnr very immediately repond to his stress environment by being comical and started flopping and dropping himself onto the ground, launching and flinging and rolling himself on the soft padded floor. It was his sensor requiring extreme feelings to help himself digest what is goin on.

This has help me see why and how he used to struggle in school, in the fair group and in the mall or supermarket.

So I've learnt deep pressure therapies. Him wanting to chew gum is supposed to be beneficial for his hypo sensors in his mouth. And when he starts to constantly jump and bounce on sofa and the bed, then it's time to do some deep pressure therapy. This requires Jnr to lie down on his tummy, on a long cushion and me bouncing and rolling a rubber gym ball over him, applying pressure. Amazingly, this child can actually lie still, absolutely motionless for 20 minutes. With regular sessions, my beloved genius child will soon learn to face and accommodate his world better.


So, with this in perspective...we've been busy learning to help Jnr learn and manage himself better. Being so used to the erratic hyper active child...life is so strangely calm and complacent...so much so that I am beginning to wonder if we will ever be doing anything new, exciting and different ever again LOL!!


But then this calmness has allowed my body to fall back and relax and all my tiredness is coming to the surface and manifesting itself under the guise of flu-like symptoms. Yeah...maybe it good too that we're not doing much exciting and new stuff....perhaps that will surface when I'm healed and ready.


For the time being now...we're just focusing on Jnr's sensory needs, growing stuffs in the garden...Jnr practising his skateboarding...RC Car driving...and simply just enjoying these sunny summer days.

April 2009...a month full of excitement.

I'm convinced sunny days has positive effects on DS. All of the sudden, it's like he's woken up from his long winter slumber, and is now all energised, ready for an exciting summer.

The sunny days also seems to make him want to do more things. So far, he has express his wish to rediscover old interests like wall climbing and dry slope skiing. He's also pushing for some go karting sessions. Driving seems to feature strongly in his mind lately.

He's keen on seeking out other children to play with too.

He's been playing on the keyboard, practising new songs.

We've started his own egg run, selling free range eggs to the neighbours. This venture is coming along nicely, netting Geckco Jnr an average of £3.00 profit every weekend.

Best of all, he's outside enjoying the sun. Everyday, he can be found playing on our driveway. Yesterday, he was really cute. He laid on our rug, on the driveway, sun tanning LOL!!

Then he decide it'll be fun to watch the world go by, so he got his little wooden chair, a mini can of coke and a Panama hat on his head, plonk himself on the pathway and watched the world go by.

Today, we spent the afternoon at our friend's garden. It felt so good, laying on the grass, looking up at the clear blue sky. There was a few hoveflies hovering over us, which trigger off discussions amongst the adults and kids about what do hoverflies eat, hummingbirds, snails, lobsters and nits lol!

Yes, April has been a satisfyingly busy month.