Recognising Asperger

I could never work out how is it that I was sensitive enough to my son's needs. How natural it was for me to respond the exactly rtight way to his ASD needs, before we even know he was an Aspie. A right word to say or a soothing gesture, a hug, acknowledging and accepting his sadness or frustrations, cuddling him gently, stroking his sobbing, angry soul when things get too much and overloaded.

It surprises me to know, all the things that I've been doing was actually helping him with his ASD. All of these things that I naturally did, was the things that I would have to learn upon diagnosis of his ASD, according to the doctor. But somehow, I've already had a good headstart by already practicing half of it, many years earlier.

I always wondered why is it that my husband finds understanding and accomodating our child such a alien thing to practice. What was it that I could see, that he can't?
It was obvious that son is always prone to knee his dad, but yet hubby never quite learn to expect that or learn to avoid it.

Again and again, I asked, why is it so difficult for hubby to try to understand what was son saying? Is not like son was speaking a foreign language, but somehow, it does seems like hubby and son is on a totally different wavelenght.

Well, it turns out hubby is also an Aspie. But yet, it is possible for Aspie alike to be on a different wavelenght?

Well, it seems like it. I'm also beginning to recognised and now accept that I am partly responsible for son's ASD condition. All this while, I was reading on ASD's characteristics, all those hands flapping, sensitivities, social difficulties and all, little did I know that I was exhibit this characteristics more than my son!

I do flap my hands when I get excited. But I always thought I'm just a very animated talker!

I do pace the floor when talking in excitement. Well, I just didn't realised it.

This also explains why I don't have many friends, maybe one or two, if they are even classified as friends, for they always seems to fall out of touch sooner or later! And why I find making friends such a difficult thing to do. Plus also maybe this could explained why during my early days, all my friends were mostly guys. Maybe because it was easier to understand the more practical and direct mannerism of the male behaviour.

While researching for more clues on sensitivities for my son, I forgot I have issues with smells and bright light too.

And how I hate to be rushed. And how I hate changing my routine or having last minute changes to any schedule. It drives me up the wall because it totally throws me off my track, I become momentary lost, and will need time to re-gather my perspective before re-gaining my focus.

Perhaps this also explains my deep interest in science and history, like Pyramids and Maths. But the strange thing was, I was really, really bad in Maths during school. I flunked my Maths throughout my school days, but I never did hate Maths. I just knew, and accepted that I was very bad at it. But somehow, the idea of chemistry and physic intrigued me. I was fascinated by how it is to be possible to predict results, simply by manipulating numbers. I loved datas. It's amazing how a bunch of numbers can show you a pattern of consumerism and behaviours. I wanted to do chemistry and physics. But of course, according to the good old school system, I couldn't possibly handle physic lessons for my Maths' comprehension is so bad.

Well, I'm doing Maths now with my son, and I'm enjoying every lessons because I can see clearly now, where it all went wrong for me. I just didn't understand what the teacher was trying to teach. Bearing this in mind, remembering how confused I was, not understanding what the question was about, and how even more confused and lost I became, as I meandered into the maze of maths, I now understand how to help my son with his confusion of maths. I know understand how to re-word questions, or sometimes, it's better to just wait a little bit longer for the level of consciousness to click in, before comprehension can take place.

I also know understood why I was always alone during my childhood. I clearly remember walking round my old school which used to be an old convent building. In fact it was called The Holy Infant Jesus Convent School, used to be run by nuns during the 19th century. I could remember exploring every corner of this great old building. And I loved it. I have my favourite corners to hide in, one of it was at the old chapel on the first floor. I remember it to be this great big hall with polished dark mahogany timber floors, and great big white wooden french doors, with it's wooden slat shutters. Light filtering in thru the brushes of pines needles of the tall fir tress that lined the entire lenght of the chapel. I would stick my legs and my face thru the balustrades, a feeling of being high up and hidden, spying away at everyone on the playing field below. Sometimes it'll just be the students playing tag, sometimes it'll be teachers walking by, and a couple of time, Ms Muthu, the big and fearsome Indian headmistress, striding heavily along with her dreaded cane beside her. Oh yes, she'll not think twice about caning anyone caught misbehaving. I felt protected, hidden away in this cool and quiet sanctuary, away from the afternoon heat, and the hustle and bustle of everybody's expectations.

At the far end of the chapel will be the lonely body of Jesus on the crucifix, suspended high above the altar with it's embroided covering, candles flickering. I always thought what a contrast it is, him hiding here in the cool dark tranquility of the chapel, compare to his mom, The Holy Mother of Mary, standing high up in full glory, right at the front of the building, and the top most point too. Every day, the sun will shine bright and full on her, which she reflects back down to us common mortals, with her arms spread out in a welcoming manner, her smile serene and gentle.
I always thought how beautifully smooth and white her face was, and I especially liked that blue that she was wearing - it was powder blue, till this day, still one of my favourite colour.

Yes, those were the days I now recognised to be traits of Aspergers. The thing was, I wasn't feeling lonely. I didn't feel I was missing out on anything. I was just happy and contented to be wandering around this great old building, recognising each and every corner of it's structure. Every curve, every corner, every column, every archway, every room, every courtyard, and most of all, each any every one of those the old wooden french doors, with it's peeling paint and it' rakety shutters, like sleepy eyes, too heavy to be keep opened.

Yes, I'm convinced that my son is very similar to me; that he's happy with his own company too most of the time, keeping himself occupied with his own interest - his RPG games.

An Insight to how ASD works

I can across this article which I feel gave me a good insight of possibly how my child's ASD works. I hope this can help make sense for some of us and also to understand, and hopefully help plan our children's education better.


http://www.geocities.com/autistry/gould.html

Unschooling with computer games.

I've came to accept that Gecko Jnr with his ASD is just not capable to handle any sort of learning that's to do with writing and workbook. It's just too much stressful for him to concentrate on such boring and un-enticing 1D environment of a piece of flat paper with rigid printings all over it. He needs 3D images that can presents cause and effect results, and not forgetting all those lovely sound effects too!

Hence we're going full scale multimedia learning by installing the ClueFinder Adventures Yr 3, 4 and 5. Gecko Jnr is quite happy switching between these 3 grades, searching for something interesting to do. Sometimes he'll get hooked for an hour or so for it can be quite brain-intensive work all these mental maths, but yet there are times after all those searching, he walks away from it, accomplishing nothing. Sometimes he picks something that's just too difficult for him, and get frustrated and angry, working thru it. The graphics is not funny and entertaining enough to sustain son, but the mental challenges seems to be enticing enough for him to continue. We'll just have to wait and see if Gecko Jnr will stick with this program.

This is something we've just discovered. Just because Gecko Jnr is very much a computer games person, this doesn't mean he is interested in just about any type of computer games. After much buying and installing of pc games over the years, we've realised that son's actually drawn to and stayed with pc programs that have cute and funny characters, like Jumpstart Program. We've used this program before during pre-school age which worked brilliantly for Gecko Jnr.

Hence we've also installed the Jumpstart Math Advance for Grade 3, which he stayed on for 1 1/2 hours yesterday.

We're also checking out the Dorling Kingsley's History explorer CD, with it's timeline from 5 locations and era from Eygpt, Inca Empire, Imperial China, Medieval Europe, right trhu to the 1920s Age of Industrial. With lots of colourful graphics and effects and enough funny "graphic reactions " to keep Gecko Jnr going.

Anyhow, it just seems inevitable our collection of workboks is destined for ebay.

As always, I still love reading, and son still love being read to, so we're still working thru many interesting books before bedtime.

Topic we're covering - The Illiad, God of War(History); Pollinators/ Seed Carriers/ Tree's re-production system/ Sharks (Natural Science); ClueFinders Addition, Subtration and Multiplications (Maths).

Unschooling with the PSP - God of War

Well, we've moved on to another game - the God of War. Got to meet lots of Minatours, a couple of Medusas, many Immortals, and that lady Aphrodite seem rather nice too.

In conjuction with PSP learning, we've been reading stories from The Illiad by Homer. Son thought it was rather funny that this great philosopher had the same name as the great Homer Simpson! LOL! And how Argos was actually not just the name of a catalouge shop but the name of the land where Diomedes of the Loud War Cry hailed from.

The God of War game might be bloody and gory, but nevertheles a very intersting way to be immersed into a Greek mythology environment. Lots of logical challeges like that gets the brain juice going too.

Unschooling History

Hi Julie,

How's the eyes getting on? So what have you guys been up to?

I've got an interesting article here for you about homeschooling and socialising http://www.drlaurablog.com/category/home-schooling/

Well, i did my arts and painting session, but unfortunately as always, Gecko Jnr graciously declined to join me . Well, it shouldn't come as a surprise considering my son do not like the sensation of glue or anything sticky (other than playdough) on his fingers. What have you guys been up to? This is what we did, and hope it might be of interest to you. Gecko Jnr's into his latest PSP obsession with a game called 300, March to Glory. It's a story about one particular battle (don't remember the name) during the ancient history of the Persian Empire/ Greece, between King Leonidas and King Xerxes. And we've managed to Wikipedia it, had a good read and a really interesting discussion. I was struggling with all these Latin names, and surprisingly Greg corrected me on all of them, for he's learnt it all from playing the game on his PSP, LOL! Well, another example of learning without realising it LOL! Anyhow, we've managed to track Persia (now Iran) on the map.

Yesterday, feeling all fired-up, I went to the library to get more books and got the dvd for the movie 300. We watched the movie, learnt (absord more like it) fantastically alot in just 1 hour, about how people dressed and talk in the olden days, we noticed the different apperance and dressing between the Greeks, Persian and all the diffrent nations that came forth to war, under the one king from Eygpt. Very intersting for I managed recognised a few, all with thier distinct and unique talents, the Mongolians, the Indians with thier elephants, and many more warriors from the vast Byzantine empire. Got to know about the different type of battle tactics and weapons utilised in the olden days and believed it or not, mode of communications (from the used of messengers on horses to the sound of the horn to trigger off the next round of assault (arrows, lots of them) before the invention of tele-communications LOL! If one can overlook the violence and gory of the movie (it is a battle movie afterall), I think this is a fantastic movie to showcase the magnificence and richness and brilliance-ness of our past ancient history. In those days, it truly is about how much have you got to show for. And it shows why all those kings and ruler send thier vast armies to conquer other countries, to capture and owned the most precious commodity of all. Other than land, human power(armies, slaves, philosophers and citizens) must be one of the most valuable recources, for with more soldiers and warriors, one must be truly stronger and capable of expanding one's empire. How intersting it is compare to today's method of battle and monopoly.

Today, when we're talking about some conquerer, we're talking about someone's genius-ness in opening new market and cornering market shares, like Bill Gates and Richard Branson (yes, all these tycoons is nevertheless Kings of thier own right, isn't it?). It's still all about power and money, isn't it? Last week, I was feeling defeated and low, about to start considering sending Gecko Jnr to part-time schooling. But I think this is one of those few moments that makes me feel we are on the right track to educating Gecko Jnr.

During my foray in the library, I've even manage to find 3 different books, all with different "fun-based" methods on learning Maths. Plus I've managed to get a huge and thick encyclopedia, which I believe will be residing with us for a long while. I just need to remember to keep re-newing.

Well, so far for now.

Hugs and Best Wishes,
Mama Gecko

Homeschooling ASD

This was posted on the ASD Homeschooling group that we're part of.

GOD CHOOSES A MOM FOR A DISABLED CHILD
By Erma Bombeck

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures, and a couple by habit. This year, nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth; son; patron saint, Matthew.
"Forrest, Marjorie; daughter; patron saint, Cecelia.
"Rudledge, Carrie; twins; patron saint.... give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child."
The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God.
"Could I give a handicapped child a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But has she patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence. She'll have to teach the child to live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."
God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."

The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she'll never survive. Yes, there is a woman I will bless with a child less then perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word.' She will never consider a 'step' ordinary. When her child says 'Momma' for the first time, she will be present at a miracle and know it! When she describes a tree or a sunset to her blind child, she will see it as few people ever see my creations.

"I will permit her to see clearly the things I see --- ignorance, cruelty, prejudice --- and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."

"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in midair.

God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."