We've stopped over for a few days at Nottingham at my girlfriend's house for a couple days before continuing forth towards Scotland.
This not only gave us a lovely opportunity to finally catch up with our friends, it also provided Jnr an opportunity to be up close with a dog - a dalmation as big as him, and interestingly, an unexpected insight to how well we've done, unschooling wise.
For a start, we were very pleased to see how comfortable and confident Jnr was with the dog. He was touching, teasing and playing with the dog. I am almost expecting him to roll over with the dog LOL!! 2 years ago, Jnr would have been climbing all over us, trying to get away from the dog. He would have been nervous to a point of panicking.
And then it was the affect Jnr had on my girlfriend. This girlfriend, is married but by choice do not have kids. She was clearly affected by Jnr's very opened directness, confidence of his own decisions and his own freedom in choices.
It was quite amusing to see how my girlfriend is trying very hard to comprehend the sheer "this feels so wrong and unbelievable" fact that my 8 yrs old does what he wants, sleep when he wants, eat when he wants and basically is in control of his life to a large extend.
This incident has basically got me thinking and realised that yes, the backbone of our unschooling philosophy has evolved.
We have started out homeschooling with the objective to learning without school. To learn naturally without boundaries, no schedule and no timetable.
And then we morphed into unschooling. By starting to encourage learning from just living our lives. No co-ercion. Academic learning just happens to be a "by-product" of our daily lives. Like learning to count, ad, subtract, multiply and divide is just another skill Jnr learned from his decisions on how best to spend his pocket money. And now, we even have a DS Brain Training competition going on between him, his dad and me. More maths and spelling trials LOL!!
We encourage any shape or form of self directed interest be it tv, books, video games, the internet or toy purchases and many more. My kid loves toys, every kid does, who doesn't? Even i love toys.
Everything is a Yes and a Possibility.
Every toy or new game, online subscription or trip is a possible Yes to Jnr. It's just a question of how and when. This allows Jnr to understand that every toy he wants is possible, and have the confidence that he will get it, and to use his own mind and skills to analyse and deduce the available resources to match that thought process from "thinking, to wanting to achieving that object of desire". This gives substance to that "waiting period", giving it more reasons and sense, making it less painful.
The saying "when there's a will, there's a way" applies here.
Learning with no boundaries. Because time is no longer a concept applicable to our lives, because we choose not to have it. Therefore Jnr is not bound by any time frame to finish or accomplish any activities or projects. This has allowed him to "buzz" like a busy bee between projects of his choice. Some big, some small, some is accomplishes within half an hour, and some is a constant headache and is constantly put on the back burner, brought out only when he's got a better theory.
But nevertheless, he knows time is plenty, and he has the joyful freedom to allow his mind flow and form, in any direction.
As such, what he is capable of thinking, he is capable of materialising. He knows he is capable of translating his thoughts into it's tangible form because, he knows he has the freedom to progress into any "doing" that he feels is right.
We have realised that because we have relinquish our parental "right to control his life" back to our son, we have allowed him endless opportunity to practice living life, making good decisions, making bad decision, repeating mistakes until he had enough and decide an alternative is required, exhausting his own theories before he's willing to be open to someone else's idea.
No mistake is a bad mistake. It is just sometimes painful, messy and frustrating. But always a lesson in disguise.
All decisions are decisions. It can be a good or as bad as he deem it to be.
But most of all, as we are all individuals and it's a free world, so mummy, daddy and Jnr is entitled to thier "very own" opinion, which is entirely acceptable and perfectly ok. He just have to learn to argue his case convincingly to mummy and daddy, and I have to say, he is beginning to show very good debating skills and is beginning to win us over, more and more now LOL!!!
Over the past 2 years, he has become a very well informed, focus, comfortable, confident boy, aware and wise about the world around him.
Which explains why he has no concern or apprehension stating to my girlfriend that he doesn't need to sleep yet because his mind is too busy completing his game on his DS LOL!!
Yes, I am convinced that Freedom of Choice is a good platform for my son to approach life.
Bridging from the Fediverse to Bluesky (or not)
2 months ago
